Heaven On Earth

I don’t talk about it often, but my (now ex) husband and I split up back in September of 2020. Maybe one day I’ll share a post about what wrong, because in many ways he was the love of my life, and I still love him dearly to this day. After nearly 15 years together, we quite simply grew apart and wanted different things. At the time it wasn’t pretty. There was a lot of drama, a lot of chaos, a lot of heartache, a lot of grief. But that was almost two years ago and the dust has certainly settled. We get along well and co-parent beautifully. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him (as a friend, father to my child, etc). He moved on quickly and is in a seemingly happy relationship. I however, have been single ever since. Not that I haven’t dated a bit – very casually, but there’s been nothing remarkable. For a long time I didn’t feel ready, and I’m still getting used to the idea. But I do have a very clear picture of what I desire in a relationship, of who I desire. I didn’t exactly time this post intentionally. Since returning from the Embodied Feminine Leadership Training in Costa Rica last month, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into the Divine Masculine, and I was called to create these collages from a wealth of inspiration I bookmarked over time. This is essentially my vision board. I found the process therapeutic given I’m on my own for the second V Day in a row. It really shouldn’t matter, and it doesn’t… I know this person will appear in time. When I’m ready. When it’s meant for me. The first collage is my favorite because it really captures the essence of what I’m calling in. I do not want a husband, or a baby daddy, or even someone to cohabitate with per say. This, THIS is what I want…

I admit I got carried away and went a little collage crazy cause there was so much good content. So I grouped them into themes (ish). The next one is a commentary on souls. As far as my next lover is concerned, I want a nice roomy container to play in. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. Show me the outer limits of your psyche – when we’re deep in conversation, and deep in bodily fluids. I want to know you, and I want you to know me. For the right person there are no limits.

This next one is really important to me because I’m over little boys who are intimidated by the strength of my Feminine. Little boys who don’t know how to hold me in the ways I desire to be held. I’m not interested in playing games. I want a truly conscious relationship. One where we each acknowledge we aren’t perfect but we’re there to help each other grow. This was probably one of the biggest challenges when my marriage felt apart. I was ready to grow, I needed to grow, but my husband was content and complacent and didn’t welcome the idea of change. Though that’s a story for another day. This collage is in no way a commentary on my marriage, as much as it’s an accumulation of experience from many “men” I’ve been with.

This one is just for fun, but not really! I love it because sex is important to me, and it’s not something I’m shy about. I’ve slept with a lot of people in my life, but could probably count on one hand the experiences that were truly worthwhile. I’m at the point where I’m ready to rein it in and manifest something really yummy. Send me my dream man and I really will be his “slut in the sheets”. The right man, one I love with body and soul, could ask me anything and I wouldn’t say no. My Virgo sun is inherently giving and loves to please…

And okay this last one is an ode to Noopace cause why the fuck not. I’ve said it before but I swear he’s my soulmate and just doesn’t know it. For anyone who isn’t familiar, Noopface is an erotic poet with a deeply embodied spiritual take on sex. He’s kinky and spiritual and oh so good with words. So basically, send me someone like Noopface and I’ll be extra super happy and worship his cock and lick up every last drop of cum when we fuck. #sorrynotsorry He primarily posts via Instagram, and his account is unfortunately banned at present. But I’ve collaged some (not nearly all) of my favorite morsels here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s